Why does TV suck? Ponder that for a moment. For me it’s because it’s all so one-dimensional, or is it two-dimensional? Dimensions aside, TV, for me is banal. It lacks the spark to keep me interested. Therefore, I make fun of it a lot. And I do mean a lot. When I’m not commenting on the overt “gayness” of the latest Pantene Pro-V commercial, or slowly having an internal/external meltdown over the downward spiral of modern programming (See: America’s Got S0-Called Talent), I’m thinking to myself “Self: You are funny. People just might like to hear what you’ve got to say about TV.”
And there you have it, a TV show is born. Ever see Mystery Science Theater 3000? Well, if you haven’t, you don’t deserve to be breathing. It’s OK, we all have our shortcomings. Quick, go to YouTube and utube MST3K. I’ll wait.
Good, now that you’ve been briefed, here’s the second point in this very long, ambiguous lead-up to my idea for a TV show. You know on VH1 where d-list celebs comment on so-called A-list celebs? I think it’s known, coloquially, as “Best Week Ever.” Why these effin’ people have jobs I don’t know. Nonethelesssomemore, they do. Anyhoo, my idea is this:
Regualar TV would play while people (like myself, friends, girlfriend, sister) would, in real time, comment on the shows, commercials, etc. as they were running. Sometimes it may be boring, sometimes it would be a tangential schism from subject to subject, and sometimes it would be outright HIGH-larious. But it wouldn’t be regular television. It would be better. It would be the end game of TVs progression. It would be real people commenting on made-up, overproduced, tacky, unrealistic, crappy ol’ TV.
I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH THIS! Wouldn’t you?
So, to recap, think MST3K meets Best Week Ever. Only, no weird Sci-Fi skits or characters, and no “celebs only” policies. It would be four or five people commenting, discussing, opining on and about television JUST LIKE EVERYONE DOES IN REAL LIFE.
Programming would include commercials, we would also make fun of those. It would include news, and could even get serious. We could make shadow puppets on news anchors’ faces, draw on them “Madden marker” style and even sware. As a matter of fact, I’d want the swears to be bleeped (and often over-dubbed with a really hilarious, yet P.C. replacement). You know, how when movies are shown on regular TV and it’s just a TERRIBLE overdub. I think that … que Barry White voice: “Stuff”… is, again, HIGHLARIOUS.
I’ll give you yet another swear example:
George McFly from BTTF: “Hey you, get your DARN hands off … her.”
So that’s the idea. It’ll be called “Keepin’ it real.”
Coming soon to SpikeTV.
